Tag: gifts

A Flying Cupcake, glass of water, curious neighbors…and request to “GO HOME!”


This was my final week of my Lenten protest of 111Cakery.  And “statistically” things were consistent with past weeks.  I’d say about 30-40% of people passing by showed some sign of support, about 10% voiced disagreement — usually, but not always civil — and about half the folks passing by were ambivalent.

But I felt good about my personal stand, because that’s what this was about.  And, I grew in my own personal beliefs and faith.

So a Flying Cupcake...thanks to Terry Woods for joining me this week for a while.  He brought be a cupcake from Flying Cupcake, finding that somewhat fitting.  So thanks Terry — for your friendship, support and  your sweetness!

A glass of water…Randy, the husband/co-owner, offered my a glass of water at one point.  He also came out to greet me at the beginning of my shift — we talked about family, vacation plans and the weather.  And, at the end of my “shift,” I stepped inside to thank him for his friendship and conversation — and congratulated him on his expectant grandchild…within days he said.  Wouldn’t that be a blessing if it arrived on Easter this year?  All this to say, Randy and I have had great conversation, civil discussion and respect for one another (I believe…).  We’ve prayed for each other…

We may have been praying for different things…as I would pray for open mindedness, and a shift in understanding.  And, if it takes a gay grandchild to bring that about, then I know that God can work in mysterious ways.  So, I pray that one of their grandchildren grow up gay or lesbian…so they find a different truth.

As Randy said, if this has brought either of us or any of us closer to God, then it’s all good.  And may it be so.

 But, Randy has proven that we can agree to disagree, and still be respectful and compassionate.  So thank you for that gift.

Curious neighbors...since I moved my picketing closer to the bakery and Penrod Arts Building, I got more reactions from neighbors…from curiosity to conversation.  One woman took a picture of me and Terry and posted it to Facebook.

There has been a LOT of honking on our street this afternoon!
There has been a LOT of honking on our street this afternoon!

Another woman simply stuck her head out the window, saw me…and said, kindly, “Ah, that’s what I figured.  I was just wondering what everyone was honking at!”

And a “GO HOME”…not from Randy or Trish, the owners.  (Though every time I entered the store, if Trish was at the counter, she seemed to find a reason to disappear into the back.)  But, someone coming from Talbott Street onto 16th Street yelled that at me.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could tell discrimination to “GO HOME.”  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could simply yell at the face of racism, sexism, homophobia and other forms of prejudice and make them disappear?  Until then, we need the “voice of the minority” so speak up, bring awareness, and educate people about issues.

But, for now, I will “go home…”  Not because he asked me to…but because Lent is coming to a close.  I will be talking with high school students on Tuesday in State College, PA about my journey, as part of their “unit” on Civil Rights in their History class.  But, beyond that,  my personal journey, my personal stand has an endpoint.  So, I’ll take my signs and go home…and I’ll try to remember that LOVE does win out over hatred every time.

And whether 111Cakery continues to get “ample business from a more conservative clientele” will yet to be seen.  Would I be glad to see them go out of business in this location?  Of course.  But, if they continue to be successful and find a niche, then I wish them the best of luck.  May the best cupcake — and business policy — win.  Meanwhile, I’ll frequent The Flying Cupcake, or Kim’s Kate Kreations or other establishments that don’t discriminate with their icing…  

Equality for ALL!
Equality for ALL!

 

And, I’ll look for the day when I can influence laws such that 111Cakery is unable to refuse to provide service to a person based on race, color, religion, ancestry, age, national origin, disability, sex, sexual orientation and gender identity…consistent with Indianapolis’ own ordinance…and consistent with Jesus’ teaching to love one another.

Final week of protest...HAPPY EASTER!
Final week of protest…HAPPY EASTER!

111Cakery feeling the heat…and it’s not from their own ovens!


So Friday was a big day in Indianapolis, for me at least.  I continued with my weekly protest of a local bakery’s anti-gay business policies and felt some “heat” for the first time…so I think our message is hitting home for 111Cakery!  I also made some close connections in our community. And, Cher brought her “Dressed to Kill Tour to the Crossroads of America.  And, what an amazing performance!

Each week during my “personal Lenten journey”, I’ve experimented a little with my message or the delivery.  It’s brought varied results for sure, and kept things interesting.  So, at least I know folks are paying attention!

Honk 2 boycott 111Cakery

In prior weeks, I kept mainly to the corners of 16th and Delaware or 16th and Meridian, to get the message out to as much traffic as possible.   I also honed which signs were most effective, and as positive as possible (see last week’s lesson…)

These two are my favorite…with the “Honk” sign drawing the most reaction from passers-by.  I particularly love when walkers or bikers simply yell out “honk, honk…”

 

 

 

This week, I moved closer to the actual bakery.  Since the owners are “sticking to their guns” with their anti-gay business policy, I wanted to make sure in my last weeks of protest that the owners heard the honking horns of cars driving by, showing support of a boycott of 111Cakery.  As I’ve shared dozens of times over the past weeks, “Yes, they [111Cakery] have a legal right [today] to turn down business.  And, all I want to do is get the word out, so that if people want to take their business elsewhere, we can.”  

A video journalist came out this week to interview me as well, wanting to contribute to the existing online stories about 111Cakery’s business policies (see The Huffington Post and this somewhat charged Vlog on YouTube.) He stopped in the bakery to ask the owners if they were willing to be interviewed.  They declined.

Well, I believe Randy and Trish felt the heat of the honking cars, and the possibility of more national attention. We were joined by Tim, a “friend” of the bakery.  He came out of the shop over to where we were standing, and asked why I was boycotting .  When I told him, “because the owners refused to make a cake for a same-sex couple’s committment ceremony,” he actually cut me off and told me that was not what happened.  Really!?!  I think he should refer back to the original Fox59 story and get his facts correct!  When I spoke with Randy, that’s exactly what he confirmed as well…it was their business policy, and they are sticking to it.

Tim then told me that me being out there “week on week like this” was akin to bullying, because I  wanted to “inflict damage” on the owner.  Interesting argument…ok, it’s not interesting.  It’s weak and far-fetched.  This has been a peaceful demonstration.

I will admit this peaceful demonstration has been about impacting the bottom line of a small business owner, who today is legally able to discriminate based on sexual orientation.  [Note that I believe it would be illegal to explicitly refuse to serve someone solely based on their race, gender, religion, or national origin – for example.]  So, yes, if Randy and Trish want to continue turning down business in these situations, then I’m just as interested in turning away business in the first place…particularly in this gay-friendly neighborhood.  And, if in doing so, 111Cakery suffers “damage” to their bottom line, that is not “bullying” — it’s simply supply and demand.  A business lives and dies by its sales and marketing…and we are now clear on how 111Cakery positions itself in this marketplace.

Maybe 111Cakery will learn, like Chik-fil-A’s CEO finally admitted, that it’s better business to focus on making great cakes and leave it to “politicians and others to discuss social issues.”  It was a tough lesson for Chil-fil-A, but they probably won’t go under as a result of learning this lesson in the marketplace.  It has to be tougher for a small businesses…who knows if 111Cakery will be around in a year.

But I’ve learned a helpful strategy..picket closer to the source! And picket repeatedly. I think they’re feeling the heat a little…and I don’t think it’s from their own ovens!

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On a more positive note,  I was joined by a young woman, Erin, who brought her own homemade sign.  She is a graduate of Heron High School, and works in the culture labs of Eli Lilly.  I also have a good friend who works in the biology labs here in Indy…and it turns out Erin works in Sandy’s lab!  Small world!

I met Sandy back in the early 90’s at Lilly through the LEGAL group (Lilly Employees, Gay and Lesbian).  She was instrumental in my coming out in the early 90’s.  I still remember her giving me a copy of the Flirtations CD.  Whenever I hear “Everything Possible,” I remember my big sister” Sandy…and her love and support during those early years at Lilly!

I love when the universe delivers connections like this…reminding me that Everything IS possible…  And you haven’t seen the last of me yet!

Honks, java and conversation…an update on my Lenten protest


So today was the third week of protesting 111Cakery’s decision to turn down a same-sex couple’s business. The bakery refused to make a cake for the couple’s wedding celebration because doing so goes against the owners’ religious beliefs.

I stopped in to chat with the owners beforehand, as we had missed each other last week.  I wanted to hear about their decision to pull their Facebook page, and have a conversation about how things were going.  The human side of my protest…

Randy shared with me that there were too many hateful, harsh comments on the page, from both sides of the debate.  He just decided it wasn’t worth leaving the page up, though he originally had done so to allow people to share their opinions.  He commented that there have been only two people to come in and talk with him who opposed their actions – me and a guy named Mike, who joined me for last week’s protest.  Everything else against the bakery has been via social media, etc.

Randy continues to be surprised by the reaction from the gay community and our allies.  He didn’t realize their decision would have such a “personal impact” on so many people.  He referred back to our first conversation, indicating that I helped him understand how this might “land” on a LGBT person…that even though their intention was not to “judge or reject” someone because of their homosexuality, he could now understand how it might be received.  Having said that, when I asked him if they had reconsidered their policy or how they might go about dealing with a similar request, he indicated they would make the same choice (though, as he says, the chances of getting another request with all the publicity is pretty slim!)  He continues to believe they are doing the right thing, consistent with their religious beliefs.  He and his wife just can’t condone, nor can she be “artistically inspired” to create a cake that “celebrates a gay marriage,” which they believe is sinful.  I did point out that there is nothing in the Ten Commandments or any of Jesus’ teachings that would indicate that homosexuality is sinful — that’s all old Testament based.  And, as he knows, other issues of social justice and civil rights have been “justified” based on religious dogma…yet I doubt he would use the Bible to refuse to make a cake that “celebrated” a black couple’s marriage, because our society has (largely) grown past such an act of racial discrimination (at least from a legal point of view!) But that point fell again on deaf ears…at least for now.  God can change hearts with seeds that we plant…who knows!

I did ask him if he would make a cake for a Jewish or Muslim’s couple’s wedding.  He responded that he hadn’t really thought of that…but perhaps they “would just stop making wedding cakes all together.”  Interesting.

I then asked him, what would they do if laws were changed, and gay marriage was actually considered legal – either at the State level, with some of the lawsuits against the State of Indiana, or by the US Supreme Court.  He sidestepped the question, but did acknowledge that it’s just a matter of time before such a change comes about.

At the end of the day, it’s clear the situation has caused them to prayerfully consider their beliefs and actions.  Randy indicated there are times in life when “significant events” happen like this, which “cause one to challenge and reflect on long-held beliefs.” Though, in this case, they’ve stayed true to their beliefs that gay marriage goes against God’s design for humanity. I understand where he is coming from.  From my experience, I shared with him that the only event that might change he and his wife’s beliefs would be if one of their own children came out of the closet.  I know in my case, that’s caused my mom to reconsider her views on homosexuality from a Christian perspective.

 

So moving on to the protest, I kept with my more neutral, “kinder and gentler” signs, having learned my own lessons about love and compassion and consistency. I mainly used the “Honk 2 Boycott 111Cakery” signs…and continued to get a lot of honks.  I’d guess about 30-40% of the cars that passed by honked.  For me, that was rewarding.

I also had a first…that REALLY touched me!  A car pulled up heading East on 16th and stopped at the light with their window down…and handed me a large café mocha and dessert cake from Starbucks!  

A drive by "thank you" from today's protest!
A drive by “thank you” from today’s protest!

The passenger said, “this is a gift for you…”  And they wrote “Thank you! on the side of the cup!  It was particularly timely because the weather was a bit chilly…so the warm coffee hit the spot!

So, thank you to Universe for all the honks of support…and for my anonymous supporter who went out of their way to bring me a warm drink and sweet!

See y’all next week – Friday, 3-6pm, on 16th between Delaware and Meridian.