I reached out to a friend from my past about a month ago. M was the instructor for an intense 13 day experiential course I went through on inclusive work & interpersonal relationships…centered around diversity. We were about 18 in total — and after bearing our souls, we ALL became a very tight knit group. In fact, my “CP family” has been very much a part of my recovery support network since inpatient.
M and I had a strong connection throughout the 2+ years I worked with the program, but when my using increased in the last year or so, I remember deliberately creating “walls” to keep her away. If anyone could figure out something was deathly wrong in my life, she could have. And I wasn’t ready for that at the time. So, my “big sister” became my “distant sister” – of my doing.
When I called her recently, we played telephone tag for a couple rounds. I left a message letting her know I wanted to reconnect, that there were some changes that were going on I wanted to fill her in on. (At that point, I had been through treatment and lost my job…) I’ll never forget her voicemail back to me…something to the effect of: “CT, great to hear from you. You sound fantastic, so the changes must be great! Can’t wait to hear what amazing things are going on with you.” What a testimony to the growth my Higher Power and program of recovery are bringing about…that it can be heard in my voice on a recording! I’ve had others tell me I look better, sound better…but in person! This was a first! Imagine her surprise when we finally talked on the phone…and I filled her in on my “bottom,” my treatment & path of recovery, loss of job and home, etc. Life was so different from a year ago when I saw her…but oh so much better! She was speechless…I was thankful…and we had (finally!) reconnected!!!
We met tonight for dinner and brought each other up to speed. I filled in some of my past, and we were both able to understand where the walls were coming from…why even in our training, there was something I was holding back, not disclosing. She shared it was confusing at the time, because on so many fronts I was very open & honest. Now, the picture was complete…the pieces of the puzzle began to fit together. And, as all things happen for a reason and are a part of His Master Plan…it’s exciting to look forward, in anticipation of where these connections and experiences will take me…
M, I love you as a sister. I’m thankful you hung with me — kept me in your thoughts and prayers — kept loving me. You’re part of my story…you know how you accelerated my recovery by a week to 10 days! I so want to pay it all forward and share what has been so freely given to me…
The Magical Storybook of Professor Peacock 