Celebrating second chances…this teared me up with joy!


I was recently attending a workshop for asset-based community development (ABCD). I witnessed ABCD in a very personal and powerful way that literally brought tears of joy to my eyes as things unfolded…this stuff really works!  Really!  Read on…

Some context

Back in the Fall of 2010, I attended a workshop sponsored by the Mayor’s Office of Re-Entry, which was under the direction of Maxine Bryant at the time (whom I love and admire for her creative investment in homecomers – my term for ex-offenders).  The Conference provided an opportunity for people with felonies to network and gain knowledge of resources available to us.  Specifically, if our history was creating barriers to employment, the challenge was put to us to consider starting our own business.  And, the Mayor’s Office put their money where their mouth was in very practical ways. (Read more here, starting on page 2 of this newsletter…)

I was fortunate and blessed to make it to the final stage of the challenge, with my proposal and business plan submission.  It has taken shape with time along my recovery journey: I now provide website, videography and social media support for several small businesses/non-profits. I was proud to stand with the five finalists, all of whom had fantastic business ideas…and blessed to be among the three finalists. (That’s me in the blue shirt/orange tie!)

Second Chance Challenge
Second Chance Challenge Finalists (Feb 2011)

Fast forward to the ABCD workshop in November 2014:

The sponsors (The Learning Tree LLC) put out a bid for cooks, which included them “telling their story.” They selected a BBQ & Catering business because of the owner’s personal journey, turning his full-time health disability due to MS (multiple schelorsis) into an opportunity to follow his passion/dream to own his own BBQ business.  As they invited him up to share his story with the 100+ folks attending the workshop, my jaw dropped…and I started to cry proud tears of joy (as I am even now, writing this blog.)  For in front of me was my fellow “Second Chance Challenge” friend, Antron Alexander…proud owner of “Ant’s Grill and Catering.”  (Above, he is standing to my left, in the light grey-blue shirt).

As he finished telling his story (unaware that I was in the audience), I stood up and approached him.  He recognized me, and we gave each other a heartfelt hug – to the bewilderment of those around us.  I then proceeded to tell the “story behind the story” – how Antron also overcame a felony on his record – another barrier to employment and societal acceptance – in starting this venture.  It was overwhelming to see him standing there, in front of everyone, proudly sharing his home cooking with us…what a difference a couple of years makes!

I was humbled and proud of Antron’s accomplishment and progress – not only working with his medical condition, but also creating success from the employment barriers by starting his own business. How many people do I know who are on permanent disability and do little to nothing – existing, or just “getting by?”  At times, I believe that’s the expectation society can create for those on “permanent disability”…that they have nothing left to offer.  Here was a man who went well beyond what society was expecting of him, becoming a contributing member of society.

And, by the way – the BBQ and vegetarian lasagne was AMAZING!

So, if you want a reason to believe in personal victory, in the power of community, in the tangible outcomes of our city and mayor’s office, and the benefit of seeing “assets” over “needs”…remember my friend Antron at Antron’s Grill.

And, if you need a caterer for your next event, please consider sending him a bid.  You can reach him at antsgrill@gmail.com – “as grill as it gets!”

Antron, being introduced by the workshop organizer...
Antron, being introduced by the workshop organizer…
Antron, telling his story...
Antron, telling his story…
Antron, working in the kitchen...
Antron, working in the kitchen…
My personal reunion with Antron
My personal reunion with Antron

Maxine Bryant, at Indy’s Recovery Rally 2010 – Indianapolis, Indiana from CToddCreations

My heartfelt and heartbroken, confused dedication to John.


Whenever I play this song, which I heard Cher sing in concert, I think of you. Sometimes there is still anger, and often there is confusion and always lack of closure. And I still sometimes get sad… But these are the words meant for you, from me…from my heart.

I still care for you and wish you the best. I hope you find what you’re looking for…

For John Andrew Bodine

These clouds aren’t going nowhere darling,
Rain keeps coming down.
I just thought I’d try to call you,
‘fore you got too far outta town.

And I hope that you get this message that I’m leaving for you.
‘Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to…

I hope you find it, what you’re looking for.
I hope it’s everything you dreamed your life could be and so much more…
And I hope you’re happy, wherever you are.
I wanted you to know that.
And nothing’s gonna change that.
I hope you find it.

Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever?
That’s the words I said.
But that was nothing but a broken heart talking, darling.
You know it wasn’t what I meant.
Call me up, let me know that you got this message that I’m leaving for you.
‘Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words I needed you to…

Whatever it is I have that you were missing here…
I hope you find it, what you’re looking for.
I hope it’s everything you dreamed your life could be and so much more…
And I hope you’re happy, wherever you are.
I wanted you to know that.
And nothing’s gonna change that.

I hope you find it…

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A grateful lepper at your feet…


Jesus, friend of sinners. We have strayed so far away. We cut people down in Your name, but the sword was never ours to swing…The world is on their way to you, but they are tripping over me…Open our eyes to the world at the end without pointing fingers…Help us to remember we are all the least of these…Nobody knows what we’re for, only what we’re against when we judge the wounded. What if we put down our signs, crossed over the lines and loved like You did? You loved every lost cause. You reached for the outcast, for the lepper and the lame. I was the lepper and the lost cause. I’m a grateful lepper at your feet.

Today is my 46th birthday. I just met Adam, whose barcode tattoo design is his clean date, above his mom’s initials in artistic formation. She died of alcoholism.

Adam's clean date in binary art, punctuated by the loss of his mom to the disease of addiction (her initials as a star point to his exclamation).
ADAM’S EXCLAMATION: Adam’s clean date in binary art, punctuated by the loss of his mom to the disease of addiction (her initials as a star point to his exclamation).

I’ve been in recovery since December 2009. I am on a cruise ship in Bermuda, celebrating my mother’s life, among other things. She was a master cruiser who went on over 70 cruises all over the world. That was her dance…

She also died last year at 71 from untreated alcoholism.

My first tattoo after her death has her Jerusalem cross, which I wore for the first year of mourning, mounted on a butterfly. Mom and I both shared a love of butterflies..

How similar our stories are…Adam, from the earth and me, Christopher Todd.

I was listening to this song by Counting Crows (meaningful lyrics above) when I looked up and saw Adam waiting for his partner. That moment, our conversation, his story, was a sign from my mom and the universe that she is smiling down on me on this birthday reminding me it is all good…better than good. Just for today.

I miss her, as horrible as it was to sometimes be with her and her disease…

I’m putting together a photo montage of tattoos and stories (I’ll post Adam’s when we are back in port.). But in a unique way, the universe opened my eyes so I could connect with Adam and share our stories. I’m crying tears of joy, sadness and gratitude.

I love you mom. I will always be your little boy…