Celebrating my “second chance”


One gift I took from my Lutheran days in college is an appreciation of spiritual rituals and traditions — that the “outward and visible is a sign and shadow of the inward and spiritual.”

Remembering my baptism – celebrating bellybutton, ‘gotcha’ and recovery birthdays – these are examples of life milestones and anniversaries that I choose to make traditions in my life.

December 21st is also a significant milestone in my life of recovery – in my “second chance” gift to reconnect with my true self and my Higher Power. It’s the date when I hit my spiritual and emotional bottom, reached out to my Higher Power through loved ones in my life, and started my life-long road of recovery.

It is with humility and gratitude that I celebrate, honor, and remember the hope, gratitude, loss, grief and resurrection in this first milestone,

A close friend shared a book with me earlier this year – Praying our Goodbyes: A Spiritual Companion through Life’s Losses and Sorrows. It has been a tremendous source of inspiration and guidance. I will close for now with a short passage from its preface – for those who know the connection I have with butterflies, you’ll appreciate why it struck such a chord with me.

I remembered the necessity of eventually “letting go” and that the journey does not conclude with goodbye but is followed by “hello.” The pattern of growth as of one of “life, death, resurrection” provided both solace and hope…Like the caterpillar, our grieving thoughts and distressed emotions lead us to believe all is ended, but what is happening in the darkness of our grief and desolation of letting go is that our life is slowly being transformed. In the midst of our emptiness and bleakness of heart, God is nurturing and strengthening us for future growth.

May your days continued to be filled with hope and grace.

Living through my feelings


A friend checked in on me today and asked how I was doing.

I told him “Doing well. Some sadness this week but living through it.”

He asked me about the sadness. I told him it was about losses: house/home, relationship. I’m grieving stuff that either became more definite this week or about which I am finally allowing myself to feel sad. Some events that happened this week brought these to the forefront to feel.

So it’s healthy living life on life’s terms.

Just new for this addict. 🙂

Don’t pick up…no matter what.


My sister gave me a suggestion as I learn and grow from my last relapse.  (Pretty amazing gift I have in her!).  Make a poster — stick it in your kitchen or bedroom.  Dr. K at Fairbanks suggested something similar – have a list on an index card for my wallet.

I thought I’d “pass along” what I created in case it helps others.  My version is a personalized a little — you can’t ride my Harley “Spark” and you can’t cuddle with my dog “Daisy.”  So I made a generic version 🙂  These should apply to just about anyone.

If you’d like a personalize version let me know.  I’d be happy to add suggestions that work for you and send you a copy.  A suggestion, becomes a lifeline, becomes a gift…pass it along.

Oh – and I pray that this isn’t just a pretty framed poster in my home…but that I use it!  Thanks HP

Don't pick up no matter what!

Don’t pick up no matter what! (11×14 poster .PDF version)