Tag: change

Body Positivity in Art: A New Project on Sexual Wellness


#CelebrateUU – Looking Ahead

Since 2019, I’ve been increasingly involved in bringing #CelebrateUU to life. When I first came up with the idea of celebrating #CelebrateUU anniversaries, I had no idea it would grow to a citywide exhibition. It’s a #BigMagic moment, from a book I read about the creative life (Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert). I’ve learned to go with my creative flow, investing the time and energy, then seeing how far the Universe wants to me take the idea.

I’ll be releasing 10 new stories on December 1, 2024 at the exhibition opening that is part of a citywide World AIDS Day Community Reception hosted by the Marion County Public Health Department’s Ryan White HIV Services Program.

For the month exhibition, I’m grateful for sponsorship from the MCPHD Ending the HIV Epidemic Task Force, as well as Roberts Camera. I’m also grateful to the Marion County Library for allowing me to show my art in their public spaces. Through this project I learned of this FREE exhibition space – available to resident artists in Marion County!

#JustTheTip Campaign

I’ve had some creative setbacks this year – though I don’t like that language or self-talk, but it is my unfiltered mind response. I try to rephrase things today, to something like I have a great idea to raise awareness around harm reduction, and will be looking for new creative sponsorship or grant funding in 2025. There. The fact that I didn’t get the Indy Arts Council Arts for Awareness grant funding stream still stings a little. But, I have come to re-see this as a “not now, but…” response, not a “no, never” response from the Universe. That’s why I have networks with the @Indy Rainbow Chamber of Commerce, which has now gone statewide. I’ve also learned that @StepUp could be a reliable fiscal sponsor. They already serve that role for other statewide coalitions. This would allow my to ask for contributions that would be tax-deductible, that would fund the full project. I learned a lot from the grant response Q&A session after the notice of non-acceptance. It truly was a learning process – and I can’t wait to bring the #JustTheTip campaign to Indiana, on whatever level that looks. #BigMagic

Closing Out #CelebrateUU

So, when the stylized portrait phase of #CelebrateUU comes to a close on December 29th, I’ll have a huge time void. I’ve been asking the Universe to give me ideas, so I can hit the ground running. A creative life without projects is a dead one – or dying one. I’ve learned that the hard way.

I’ll have the input from my art intervention, where I ask people “How Did This #CelebrateUU Exhibit Make You Feel?” – inspired my a artistic mentor of mine. Thanks Al Duvall. HT to Dr. Carrie Foote, because I borrowed some inspiration from your workshop creative introduction. I’ll find ways to work quotes from that intervention into future social media posts, to keep working at HIV stigma through the stylized portraits and stories.

I know I want to continue to work in the HIV space artistically, but not ignoring HIV criminal reform, harm reduction, mental health, recovery, mental health. I will continue to champion the selfie portion of #CelebreateUU. That hasn’t taken off quite like I’d hope to based on the original concept. But there is time….

I’ve also thought about taking CelebrateUU statewide, or even nationally. If I could work the photo taking into a presentation or workshop, then I could take this on the road to Positive Living or US Conference on HIV/AIDS.

I know I want to get back into the @CToddDudeoir groove, and have already started that with a shoot with Logan Bloir, who I met through Man Crush Mania. I played with some of his images today. More to come…

#BodyPositiveSexPositive

I hope this isn’t passé. But, here’s my pitch to the Universe.

 I want to do a creative B&W nude portrait series to promote stories of sex and body positivity. Whatever that looks like to the person(s). 

Could be individuals, couples, thurples.

I’d want it to be a diverse set of individuals – age, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, etc etc. I’ve learned to trust the Universe to bring me the right people. It may take time, but they show up. As they say, build it and they will come!

I like combining the storytelling with photographs. I think I want to do the series in the people’s home to be more intimate. This is out of my comfort zone – I like the control of studio lighting.  So I may change my mind but location aside, it’s one of the next projects I want to work on. 

The doubter in me has already started in on me. But anxiety is telling me to do this for with people who have lived experience with HIV, HepC or harm reduction. I may narrow that later. Make it a series on sexual health, wellness and prevention.

That’s what is unique about this project in terms of focus and storytelling.  I’ve wanted to do something in the HIV space and I realize now that stigma is very real in both areas – well all three, so I think there is a creative trifecta here.

My goal is to start work in this in January, after I’ve completed my #celebrateuu project. Not sure what that looks like at first – but I’ll dive in and start creating.

The new challenge will be finding funding so I can give participants a reasonable stipend for sharing their story and image. But I’m getting better at writing grants and could find help to locate donors or grants. In the meantime, I can do it time for print, where in exchange for their time, people get a select set of images from the photoshoot. I prefer cash.

Just putting this idea out into the universe.  

Thank you for coming to my #bigmagic ted talk. 

Artistic Bio


I created a profile for an online photography community. It’s sometimes hard for me to describe where I’ve landed as an artist & human being, here on October 14, 2022. That will change radically, or slowly, or organically, or tragically. More organic, less tragedy please. #NotMyCircus

Here’s what I came up with:

My main studio is C Todd Creations, focused on headshots, performing arts events + digital art rooted in photography. I like to dabble in many things, and stay away from others. I love working with drag performers, dancers & show choirs. I love nature, macro photography and digital creations that start with one or more images of my own. This is my primary professional brand @CToddCreations. Welcome!

My speciality studio is C Todd Dudeoir focused on photography for men + art that is body positive and inclusive. How I see my art in this space evolves with each conversation & understanding. ‘As I heal, I create; as I create, I heal.’ I love to explore art that pushes the edge of gender expression & identity. I create best in a collaborative setting so I work well with other artists, models & performers. I finding an intersection with sex positive communities, including leather, BDSM, cosplay and fem boy to name a few. “Never yuck on someone else’s yum!” “I’ll shoot anything twice, more if I like it!” This is my speciality studio @CToddDudeoir. Welcome!

As an artist, I explore art as therapy with an emphasis on stigma & shame, flipped and rescripted to reclaim its grip on my identity and self-confidence. Yea, mental health shit. This shows up in the form of artivism, a concept a read about when I discovered Through Positive Eyes. It inspired and informed my creative introduction to artivism with #CelebrateUU, in parallel to learning about art therapy as a tool for mental health & trauma informed living using harm reduction. This shows up in fine art projects, community art and artivism tied to my main studio @CToddCreations, under the emerging educator/performer persona Professor Peacock and under the pen blog CToddBeNow.net. Welcome!

Artist’s Profile, October 2022

I use a 70/20/10 rule of thumb that is aspirational or intentional. I have less control than I wish but accept that on most days. I’ve learned to just go along for the ride! Abide by The Four Agreements as best one can on any given day. Live for and in today.

At this phase in life, I think my work is 10/70/20 across C Todd Creations, Artivism, and C Todd Dudeoir. Again. Aspirational subject to change depending on what the Universe sets before me and the choices I make thereof 😉

Thanks for listening. This was really more for me. (Is anyone listening?)

Keep tellin’ the story.

Sawubona

Professor C Todd Peacock III
Community Artivist, Connector, Storyteller & Healer

#GameOn #CBD #TraumaInformedArt #TraumaInformedLiving #CelebrateUU

What have I learned?


Reminds me of a story one of my friends loves to tell about a night behind stage at a drag show back in the 1980’s. It’s catty, edgy, back-stabbing humor. Older GWM at our best.

And our worst.

They do call it a stereotype for a reason, girlfriend. (HT to JT for that one. That and a couple other racist remarks lands your firm with a class-action lawsuit. Then the Club Owners collude to keep YOU happy so you don’t pop the Rainbow bubble they’ve helped build. That’s right, GIRLFRIEND!).

TICK TICK BOOM!

So I’ll spare you the off-color humor. (Hmmm. Did you notice that?)

Is it really off-color, or have we all become too sensitive?

Too sensitive I guess. That is what they told ME as a little boy wonder, shaming the feelings out of my broken, little boy heart.

But really…

I’m sad when I hear some cis White male queer peers from my generation or one older as we talk quietly over a coffee or a cocktail. We are careful not to say too much, lest we lose our spotlight. We self-righteously cling to our gay lineage, our homosexual agenda – not realizing the lesson we were just served by Mr. Floyd’s legacy is: the very world we cling to is steeped in White supremacy, fueled by our own unresolved Velvet Rage.

As GWM “of a certain age,” we fear losing the very things “we” fought for (really? just us? hmmm…). What power and fear we hold over other human beings, many of whom actually earned our saggy White asses that very seat at the bar. At the Sportsman. In rural Indiana.

That’s what I’ve learned in the oak-lined Boardrooms of our capitalist healthcare industry – corporate, non-profit, religious – same cloth, different kilt. The people, yes – they care. Tremendously. And work for shit. All of them. They are NOT the enemy.

That’s why I’ve learned

But, the institutions themselves.

Capitalist, cis-male White Lockerooms and Jock Clubs. A legacy of wealth and disregard for those different than us.

But I digress.

What IS the punch line?

Who doesn’t find that funny.

What does that tell us about why we find that funny?

The power of a question.

That’s what I’ve learned.

Time to move on.

Tell Me Why

Yes, I worked a Bronski Beat reference into this story. Every movie has a soundtrack, every one of my 2D5D C4ABCD blogs do.

Why?

Because in this case, I say so.

Sermons aren’t inherently bad. It’s easier to think of them as just stories.

And Jesus is just a prophet. Like the rest of them. Even the comedians. ESPECIALLY the comedians.

So why do I think you ask? That’s a good question. That’s a very good question, as my friend Mike Mather once said it in a sermon that changed my life.

Damn Christians.

See that biting humor? It hides the pain. Just saying.

Don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’m getting to the answer.

Because we like to tear other people down.

It’s the dark side of our humanity.

Scarcity. Ego. Competition. Small dicks.

But, I’ve also learned we need the shadows to bring out the light.

Here’s the sad thing.

We do it to our own people.

Even ones in our own community.

The tail end of the spectrum.

The suffix.

The TQIA+

You know who.

The ones we don’t understand.

Of course, when WE were young, they told us we had a preference instead of an orientation. It was a choice, not a gift.

And yet here we are again.

Allowing our elected officials to legislate people to pick a side.

Maybe They MEANT for us to be on a spectrum? Or spectra? (What IS the plural? Spectrums?)

I digress.

Lessons from Inside a Pandemic

Some of us have been here before. Like Alice Langford. Some of us joined lately. Some of us are watching us from beyond. But we’ve been here before.

This ain’t our first virus.

Lest ye forget.

We forgive you if you did. Admitting you did is the first step. (HT to Pastor Aaron for leading with that truth for reconciliation).

And no Carol, you can’t get HIV from sharing the damn communion cup.

Really?

Yep. She said that too.

I think the part she couldn’t accept most is I was an no longer reborn like her. I lost my way. I was an ex-gay.

Thankfully, Groh and Blanche set her straight. Can’t wait to visit them all in Hatboro. I never got that closure because of her legacy. Her brother. Their hate).

Reborn. Again.

And THAT’S how I got the working title of my piece! Come see it in April. I’m terribly excited.

As my readers probably recall, I have been living out my artistical sabbatical since June of last year, give or take a spell.

This choice led me along a spiritual journey and through some painful parts of my story. It’s a privileged White boy’s story, as my warrior friend Harold taught me.

Some times I feel you make yourself difficult to be told something you don’t know. 

And he was right.

That’s why I included “Lord” in my title. I own my whole story, and my father’s story, and my mother’s story, and so on, and so on.

But it doesn’t have to define how I show up today. Unless I choose to let it.

Easier said than done.

And, judging from my old journals I took down off the shelf during our honeymoon, I’ve been here before too! (spoiler alert: do NOT take your childhood journals on your honeymoon. It’s not a therapy retreat. Consummate deary, consummate )

Compartmentalize. There IS a time for that masculine trait. When it’s time to show up.

That’s what I’ve learned.

Confused in love. Telling myself I have to make a choice.

Really? How’s that worked out before?

Right.

20/20 Hindsight. 2020 Hindsight.

I’ve learned the power of 20/20 hindsight again and again. And like that Steve Jobs quote about moments in life, I can see a pattern. Three data points make a trend. We can’t improve what we don’t observe.

It does not make it True but it doesn’t make it go away.

That, as they say, is where the rubber hits the road. (It’s ok – I’m not skinning any salient beings. Or is that sentient? I always mix those up. Like committment. I can never spell it correctly. Maybe that should have been my first clue. Hmm. Data point. But it doesn’t have to be a trend. Just saying).

And here we are.

Left and right side co-existing, all the voices in stereophonic 5D.

Back to that lesson.

With COVID, we’ve all shared the same stigma, shame, fear, loss, loneliness, confusion, scarcity, sadness. Every human being on this planet. Every sentient being. Every soul. Every spirit. Every source. Every alien.

When we look at it from THAT telescope (Hubbel or Hubbel 2.0), our collective EQ as a planet just got a shot in the arm.

Think of this latest vaccine as a booster of collective Empathy Quotient for Earth. A reboot. (Yes, another movie reference. Borrowed the concept, so HT to whoever you find on page 1 of your Google search. Attribute always. Good-ishly.)

Magic and Miracle: Two Sides of the Same Coin

There is magic unfolding here, elevating our global connectedness.

Call it the Rapture if that works for you.

Or Snowpocalypse.

Or Zombie Worlds.

Or Battlestar Galactica.

As my friend Stewart Huff likes to remind us, Mother Nature can be a bitch!

Whoops. Family show.

Oh wait, this isn’t a family show. This is my show.

All politics is local, so hear me out. I hope you’ll stick around. If something I say offends you, come talk with me. Let me ask you some questions. Ask me some questions. I bet you we aren’t THAT far off. Really.

But, if nudity offends you or sexuality makes you uncomfortable, you are forewarned. But, I would recommend staying out of churches in Europe. Just saying. (HT to Thom Rouse for that nugget of Living the Artistic Life). #BigMagic

Did I mention I think I’m on the spectrum? Thanks for that nugget of insight Jasper, and for my walk with Susan who helped me accept that Truth.

But hold that thought for now.

Or as we say, stick a pin it.

Religion, Spirituality and the Arts – Oh my!

So along this magical path, I was invited to be part of community art intervention called Religion, Spirituality & the Arts. Our cohort first met last Summer-ish. And I’ve only seen them all on Zoom. Ah, the stories for our grandpups…

As we are coming to the conclusion of the project, I’m in reflecting mode. Trying to capture my thoughts, feelings, lessons learned from this experience.

Book ends.

Soul Print Moment

This is one of those Soul Print moments. (HT to my friend Terry Bateman and his gift of Buddha and the Bad Ass).

What HAVE I learned?

Shame and stigma are hard to tell apart. Some might say they are two sides of the same coin. Others may flip that coin. Others will take that coin.

Make it sacred.

Trust everyone.

Trust, but verify.

Swim with the dolphins.
Stay with your penguin.
Love your koala bear.

Everyone deserves a second chance. And a second second chance.

Three data points make a trend. But people can change. Even with a trend.

Be humble and kind.

Breathe.

Show grace.

Be more, do less.

Have more romance in friendships, and more friendships in marriage.

Talk about sex.

Get a couple’s therapist now. At the start, not the end.

Start with three questions:

What are we?
What do we want to be?
Is this healthy?

Tony Law, creator of The Paper Crane Diaries

Being single is ok.

Get a dog. Or a plant.

Breathe.

It’s hard in a mask. I know. Frontline workers and healthcares know.

God grant them the wisdom to trust science, the courage to love another.

Soundscapes

That’s one lesson from my romantical RSA journey, somewhere between session 1 and 5.

Sound.

Music.

Performance.

It’s all art.

I’m an artist. A performing artist.

And I already knew that. Sang that. Danced that. Lived that.

Loving my unstoried self

Layer of skin shed, I’m able to see a new blob on the artistical and spiritiaul horizon. Art is my therapy. Music and playlists are the score. Life is the stage.

Carpe Diem. Dead Poet’s Society. Culture Club.

It’s all the same hymn, the same pain, the same joy, the same love, the same loss.

5D Artivism is Born

The idea of paying attention to the sound around me while I’m creating changed the entire way I experience and create art. With all of my senses.

Like this. At Roben’s studio (cue hyperlink).

A new pair of glasses.

Another cliché, but that’s what happens when your stone is
Rolled away
Struck
Lifted

In closing, I’m learning to ask:

How can I or my network solve your biggest problem?

Attributed to Bryan Walsh

Try me out. Ask me.

I don’t bite. Unless we have consent.

I’ll add the playlist later. I’m tired. And it’s 4:20pm.

No, I’m not stoned.

No Grass Today.

Attributed to AJR

Thanks for listening,

Keep Tellin’ the Story,

Sawubona,

The Right Reverend Lord Christopher Todd Peacock III

Note: My words for the year are Be, Feel, Create, Learn, Grow. I will make mistakes, find better ways to share my Truth, pick myself up and move on. For now, I’m in this moment. I’ve arrived home. Again.