Category: Sabbatical

2D5D Immersive Storytelling & Vision Boards


I have a dilemma. I think I like to write. I enjoy writing because it slows down my thoughts so that I can catch them one at a time, like feathers floating down in slow motion. Sometimes I catch myself and take my time to gather my thoughts – perhaps even a feeling from time to time.

About the time the credits start rolling, I’ve mixed so many metaphors that my paranoid brain says – wait! you can’t publish that. It’s way to random.

So i start to edit.

And i put together a couple good sentences, where things start to make sense. at least they do as I’m typing these very words. Look, I think and literally the words appear on the page.

I am god

Heresy.

But think about it.

That’s basically what just happened. I put on some music (cue the tape). It set the mood.

If could have been Jack Johnson.

Or AJR The Click – Deluxe Edition, which was the soundtrack for my 2021.

no really. it was. do you know how many times I played that song. and in playing that song, I could see a macro view – high up, from a drone moreso than a macro, so more like a bird’s eye view. that’s it.

I can go back and clean all that up so it makes sense.

or i can stop and just let it flow. without capitalization or even worrying about spelling.

ok. fix the god damn spelling dude. with a simple mouse click, you can look like you actually KNOW how to use that big word to express your innermost fears and emotions.

breathe

fix it

next one

then this eccesciential fear comes in from my left brain and I find myself wanting to dissect my thoughts like a frog in science class. point out that exestensial is spilled wrong. but not wanting to stop the flow of trains in my head

damn those metaphors

so where were we. oh yea.

the movie script

as an aside, while this paragraph is still sitting here without connection to anything else in the story. so i just leave it here for you to ponder. not that I remember ever actually having done a biology class experiment where we dissected frogs. Did you? Is that just something they show in movies? All I can remember is taking AP Biology.

I look at it with a slight detachment

so back to setting the mood. today needed pure meditation.

this is about the exchange of energy and the free flowing creative spirit, coming forth in words on a page. combined with playlists, and stories, and images and art and words – it becomes a new thing. never yet contemplated in our universe. and here it is.

and the amazing thing

this is just one spirit

one soul

one voice

imagine what will come when we all connect and adjust our frequency.

cue the broadway musical. no really. enough of this meditation crap.

let’s get back to sex.

https://embed.music.apple.com/us/playlist/pure-meditation/pl.e896478fdf824a93ab2f99165c3a1422

Maybe I got bullied as a child. I can feel that in my bones. That hit a nerve as they say.

I think this is the point where I pause and say – step away from the keyboard.

yes you’ve amassed 10,000+ crazy ass images you might someday create with

yes you’ve recorded hours of soundscapes and pictures

by why aren’t you telling the whole story using all your senses.

create a 5D art form where I take images, and create a video or not. and i blog about the image or images. and i link in the playlist so the listener can watch the art and feel what i was feeling when i created this concept

that’s the 5D element. that’s my art form of storytelling. my unique creation.

c todd create

and he is.

so let him be for a little while longer

but let’s change the soundtrack to something more

shall we say

romagical and ramantophied.

The Mad Crazy Storybook of the Right Lord Reverend C Todd Peacock III.

Sit down little boy

let me tell you a story…

and that’s how this love story continues.

by choosing the thoughts, the words, the moments, then intentions.

that’s what showing up for work means

and there ain’t nothing wrong with pouring your heart and soul and talents into creating that.

art

be

art

be

art

be

sit

be

feel

create

listen

learn

grow

that is all

and yes, jack johnson makes me think of the last happy time i felt stoned

if we use it, enthruse it. there is no shame in living life and feeling it all

carpe diem

dead poet’s society is one of my value definers

so was the house fire

but that’s another story for another day

and the lesson i learned about grief from a grieving father

life well lived

life lived with intention

life made of choices

simmered in love

with a dash of community

and a shitload of grace.

that’s what i’ve learned in this place called community.

Thanks for listening,

Keep tellin’ the story.

Sawubona

Professor C Todd Peacock III
Community Artivist, Connector, Storyteller & Healer

Guiding Words


My husband recently look a workshop for his massage therapy business about raising prices, hosted by Annette Montgomery, who does business coaching for massage therapists. (It was a great class from what I heard – one that any small business owner could probably use!)

Last year, I worked with Terry Bateman as a business & life coach – he is to photography as Annette is to massage therapists! 😉 His coaching changed how I look at my work, and was so valuable in pivoting to my sabbatical.

In a follow-up newsletter, Annette talks about how she uses guiding words as a simpler alternative to resolutions.

I love this.

Each year, I go through a process of setting intentions, goals and workplans. I picked this up from my time in the Corporate world. My process has simplified over the years – I realize now how much time can we wasted in process, overthinking, shooting for perfection.

My goal now is to keep this to a one-pager.

I’m good-ish at this.

But what about narrowing this to 3-5 words?!! WHHHAATT?!?!

Wait. Looking back to next year, I did this without knowing it! My words for last year were: BE, FEEL, LIVE, LOVE, CREATE

So in keeping with KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid), my Guiding Words for this year are:

Be
Feel
Create
Learn
Grow

Guiding Words coaching tool – from Annette Montgomery

Thank you Terry and Annette for guiding other creative and healing entrepreneurs.

Thanks for listening.

Keep telling the story

Signed ever faithfully,

The Right Reverend Lord C Todd Peacock III

The shortest day to recovery


Today I’m grateful for life itself, for this day – the shortest day of the year. 12 years ago today, I was going to end my life because of the deep shame I felt at my core for who I was. Decades of societal and religious messaging that being gay is an abomination, a sin, a brokenness that needed to be healed. I also realize now I had some deep unresolved trauma from my adolescent and young adult years.

In 1990, I moved to Indy for a job at Lilly after graduating from University of Michigan. I was largely closeted at first, living in fear of being found out. I ran from myself, pouring my energy into my career. I sold my soul to the devil of money, status, material wealth. I did well for the most part – but sacrificed intimacy, community and connection for the corporate ladder. Eventually the strain of living a compartmentalized existence caught up with me.

At 33, I started using drugs because the alcohol was no longer sufficient to numb the pain. Over the course of the 8 years, I became addicted to crystal meth. In the last year or two, I was using every day – sometimes even smoking at work on breaks in the restroom. I was a functional meth addict until I could function no more. I had become irritable and aggressive at work, stemming from my using, lack of sleep and depression.

On December 21, 2009, I decided to take enough meth to burst my heart by sticking a large quantity up my butt. Whether or not that would have worked is immaterial. In my mind, I wanted to die.

In a moment of clarity, I decided that wasn’t the answer. I knew I wanted help, but all attempts in the past had failed. I called 911 and reported a failed suicide by lethal ingestion of meth. I wanted to put into motion a plan that I couldn’t stop. I also called my pastor Mike Mather who brought a small contingent of reinforcements to be there with me. They met me at Greenfield ER and took me to Fairbanks for treatment. That act of presence is one I’ll never forget.

It would be another 8 years before I finally put the pipe down in 2018. In those 8 years, I wrestled with my demons. I also went through a series of losses. I was fired from my 19 year career at Lilly in 2010 because I was arrested based on what the police found that night I called 911. I blew a plea bargain and ended up with two felonies on my record in 2011. I was diagnosed with HIV In 2012. I lost my mom to a heart attack stemming from her untreated alcoholism in 2013. I was sexually assaulted once and robbed twice in 2014.

Looking back, that’s when I started rebuilding my life. Therapy has helped me deal with the shame and trauma, the isolation, the inability to feel anything other than loss and shame. I reconnected with my photography, and have fully embraced the artist and artivist in me.

In these past 12-18 months, I have found the three most important things I was missing: identity, purpose and connection.

Today I remember my roommate from Fairbanks who died from this disease. I remember my friend Graham Karwath who died from this disease. I know too many gay men who are addicted to meth. We don’t talk about it. We offer them black and white solutions that push them away. I was judged and ostracized when I relapsed. But I was also shown love, compassion, and grace.

If you or someone you know is struggling, tell them to hold on. Tell them you love them. Love them without condition or strings or expectations. Love them where they are at.

There is hope. There is healing. Find your way.

I’m here if you want to talk.

Thanks for listening.

Keep telling the story

Signed ever faithfully,

The Right Reverend Lord C Todd Peacock III