Category: Recovery

My 2.106 Personal Brand and Intentions – “Get a job, Todd!”


Last year, I started a practice of pulling together my “brand” – to help identify, and guide, focus my personal energy. It’s a bit like an organization’s vision, mission, objectives – though there is more of a focus on “why” and “how” I go about living and who I am, than “what” I do. I focus less on uber-efficiency and more on being mindful of my EQ (emotional quotient), less on hyper-productivity and more on living with passion, less on operational scale and more on being more fully present in each moment.

It worked pretty well for me in 2015.  As I entered 2016, I didn’t see much changing in the “why” and “how.”  But, some of the “where” and my focus has evolved with time…or become more defined.  So, I thought I’d give an update.

For my general brand and intentions, click here for my original post last year…

Some broad strokes updates:

1. I arrived at a “tipping point” in 2015, where I needed to face the reality that I needed to secure a reasonable but stable income while still allowing time for a balanced, playful life in community.  Or as dad says, “get a steady job.” I considered continuing to look for working “for the man” – but have come to enjoy my balance, flexibility and autonomy.  This leads to the next decision…

2. I’ve decided to put a lot more time, energy and intention into realizing my two business ideas:

CTodd Creations Logo
CToddCreations focusing on photography and videography

 

Helpful Bytes Logo
Helpful Bytes focusing on web presence & social media, computer support and video storytelling for small businesses and non-profits). 

My intention is to meet my need for steady income (I got a job, dad!) while also meeting a community need for value-driven technology support for local businesses. Some of this is explained better here…

3. I continue to have a passion for community work, particularly in the non-profit sector in areas of social justice and inclusion.  So my work shepherding Candlestick House, Time Bank Indy and working to support the Friends of Indy Media Co-op’s Tool Lending Library will continue. I will need to prioritize more time towards my business efforts and do less pro-bono work.  But I’m still engaged here for some balance and variety.

4. Our intention is to remain in Indianapolis until 2017, and more likely the first half of 2018. This is driven by a variety of factors – schooling, small business startup, or other milestones. But, our mid-term plan is still to move to N.C. for warmer weather, ocean and mountains, grits and sweet tea!

 

an iWalk down memory lane…discoveries I’ve made about 42


I’ve been recently needing to go through all of my iPhone contacts. It’s just like going through an old-fashioned address book

(remember those? does anyone have one of those anymore, or have we all gone to an iBook of addresses… Electronic bits and bytes that come together to convey stories and trigger distant memories…)

It’s like walking down memory lane, with all of your friends, acquaintances or family crossing your path along the way. 

Seeing most names brings back a lot great memories with family and friends. 

It can also be a bit like that end of year tradition where the news media walk through all of those who passed on during the year prior. I catch myself thinking about someone, and then remembering that she is no longer with us. He watches from the stars above, joining my grandparents, my mom, my friends Scott, Phil and others unnamed. 

As they say, these are the saints of our families who have gone on before us…

Pausing to reflect a little on my iWalk down memory lane, I’m reminded of a saying a friend taught me in my recent past.

“People are in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

This really makes it a little easier for me to stay in the moment with relationships – loving what they are bringing to my life at that moment… not worrying about what our history could or should have been… nor assuming this moment implies or doesn’t imply something for the future…

This perspective on life also helps me grieve through the ending of any relationships or acquaintances, accepting that each connection has its own unique mission, its own life expectancy. The importance of each connection is not dependent on its length, frequency or intensity. 

Each has value; 

they all have purpose.  

I cherish them all…
Thank you for listening…

 

And then, someone asked about the meaning of 42…

…exactly!

 

 

What should anger be telling me?


I have a temper. 

I can sometimes overreact to a situation. 

I grew up in a household and an extended family where tempers flew, usually dispropotiatrly to the situation. 

Apple, tree…

I used to ignore, suppress, otherwise dismiss this scary emotion because of my experiences growing up.  Being in a right wing fundamentalist Christian cult during college only served to underscore the belief that feelings are not facts – that we should “un-feel” and not give in to irrational feelings.  Being in twelve step groups early in recovery emphasized the same point, that feelings are not facts. 

With enough therapy, I can now call bullshit. Feelings are the looking glass, the mirror, the magnifying glass into how are needs are either being met or not met.  We may not have to act on them like we want to. I may not have to overreact and act out from the rage and anger that boils up inside of me. But, that feeling is my best chance at figuring out what’s going on. Only from that insight can I make different choices, resolve the unmet needs, and find healing. 

Without that step, the pattern of losing my temper, lashing out and overreacting will likely repeat itself time and time again. 

My next post will show how this has helped me figure out what’s really going on.  But first, I had to face my demon – my rage – my fear – my feelings. 
Thank you Chris C, Mike M and others who helped me face my rage.