Category: Recovery

VULNERABILITY SUCKS…but it’s also the “birthplace of innovation, creativity and change”


Over the past two weeks, we’ve had a friend staying with us who is in early recovery from addiction. It’s been refreshing to talk with him about his new pair of glasses through which he sees himself. It’s also been challenging and rewarding because it’s caused me to look in the mirror and reflect on where I am today, vs. my own early days of recovery. And it’s been reenergizing to learn some fresh perspectives on addiction and recovery. For all of this I’m grateful.

One of the best insights he has given me is how he spends his free time. He doesn’t watch much TV. He plays some games on his iphone for fun. But he also listens to inspirational and motivational speakers from TedTalks and other sources, including audio books. He fills his mind with positive, sometimes game changing ways of thinking about self, community, and the world.

One of the speakers and authors he introduced us too is Brené Brown. Her insights into fear, shame and vulnerability are nothing short of game changing, particular how she ties them to addiction, depression, anxiety and other ills that plague our world today…ills that plague me today.

I’ve included two of her powerful TedTalks. Please, take time to listen to these…

Where these have touched me today have to do with being an entrepreneur – a small business person. Because for me, much of this is new… I was raised by parents who “worked for the man” in large corporations or universities…being a small business owner is new for me… Making a living as a creative photographer and technical consultant is all about change and innovation as I figure out my brand, my unique niche…  Honestly, it’s scary as hell…  (there’s my vulnerability for today…)

I have so much fear of failure, and fear of success, that sometimes I’m paralyzed. And I have failed. Many times. Just today, I was frustrated with a project that has been full of challenges, mistakes, and research…and also one from which I’m learning a lot. If I had been counting, I’ve had at least 27 bumps in the road… But my reaction too often is “I’ve failed…” or worse, “I’m a failure.” (there’s my shame for today…”

This afternoon, I threw up my hands in frustration and said “I quit.”

Then, I was reminded of her TedTalk on shame that I had just watched last night. (Oh, how soon we forget…) Brené reminds me of some truths I’m wrestling with as I throw my hands up and quit...(ok, so I won’t quit…)  

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”

“To create is to make something that has never existed before. There’s nothing more vulnerable than that.“

“You know why [TedTalks] is amazing? Because very few people here are afraid to fail. And no one who gets on the stage, so far that I’ve seen, has not failed. I’ve failed miserably, many times. I don’t think the world understands that, because of shame.”

Brené Brown

So, I guess it’s time for me to put on my big girl panties, put this Edison quote up on my wall, and get back to that damn project. Because I haven’t failed 27 times… This is just a “creative process with 27+ steps…”

As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Here are the two TedTalks I mentioned.  Enjoy…you’ll be uncomfortable and may even want to stop midway through.  But, I promise you – she has powerful (and funny!) insights to share. So please make some time to listen to her…

When asked “What are you good at?” the prostitute told the pastor “I’m really good with people…”


Sometimes I’m surprised by the dumb things people say.  Sometimes those things come out of my mouth.

This woman came to see me because she had to do community service for the court system. I asked her what her crime was and she told me “prostitution.”  Because I wanted to figure out what we could have her do around the church, before I could stop myself I found myself asking her “so, what are you good at?”  Her reply: “I’m really good with people.”

We put her to work providing hospitality to people who came to the building.  And she was really good at it!

Mike Mather

I love the way Mike tells stories – particularly when they help drive a point home with listeners. I wish I had 20% of his long-term memory and recall of details. But, I digress…

Mike gets some great questions. And some surprisingly dumb ones. But he generally finds a way to bring the story back around…

I love when he tells this story. Because it’s my story. But more importantly, it demonstrates in action how people I’ve come to call “neighbors” practice seeing people for who they really are – behind the stereotypes, labels and preconceptions we might put on those same people.

“Everybody has gift, yea sure. But what do you do with people who are mentally ill or who are drug addicted?”

Question from a visitor to Broadway

To hear the surprising response, I invite you to listen to Mike’s message. The juicy relevant pieces are in the beginning 4:33 minutes…

I probably would have lost my identity struggle with addiction as well as my identity as a contributing member of society had it not been for the simple acts of compassion I was shown – the friendships, the walks around the neighborhood talking, the new lens through which I’ve started to see myself and the world around me…

For that, I’m humbled and grateful. Thank you Mike, Rachel, Cathy, Karen, Kathy, Mike, Ann, Seana, Fran, Scott, Diane, Amy, MaryAnn, Cindy, Scott, Bill, Sue Ann, Mike, Mark, Chris, Holly, De’Amon, Terri, Greg, John, Sandya and many others…

Re-Entry and Early Recovery Resources in Indianapolis


I was recently approached by a friend who knew my story, and needed some information for a friend’s grandson about re-entry from incarceration and early recovery.  This is one of those times that “being open” about my story and past pays off – and strengthens my own recovery program.

I’ve been out of the direct realm of programs and organizations in this space since we shifted gears with Candlestick House.  I pulled together some details after confirming some contacts with friends who are closer to the action.  I thought I’d share it here…

Some of these resources are men-only, though most of them are gender-neutral 😉

Recovery Coaches

A Peer Recovery Coach is a person who provides support to individuals with alcohol and drug addiction issues. Recovery Coaching is the process of promoting ideas and actions that will give their clients the best chance for success in Recovery. This role has also been referred to as a Sober Coach, a Peer Recovery Specialist and Peer Recovery Support Specialist.

Sober Living Houses

Various options for a supportive living environment.  Usually a recommended step after detox/treatment.  Houses often have a leadtime/waitlist, so I’d contact them sooner than later.  All of these are good, solid houses with a long history in Indy.  No environment is perfect – so set that expectation.  But if the individual is willing, they are an important tool in early recovery.  

  • Talbot house
  • Progress house
  • Pathways – if dual diagnosed 
  • Salvation Army

Twelve Step Groups

NA or AA are available.  Some common recommendations:

ReEntry

Indianapolis has a “newer” movement around re-entry, where they are engaging people as they first enter jail/prison about coming out afterwards.  There is a video they share in-house, and there are resources / mentors to support people coming out.  

Contacts in this space:

Let me know if you have any questions.