General – Page 28 – The Magical Storybook of Professor Peacock

Celebrating second chances…this teared me up with joy!

I was recently attending a workshop for asset-based community development (ABCD). I witnessed ABCD in a very personal and powerful way that literally brought tears of joy to my eyes as things unfolded…this stuff really works! Really! Read on…

Some context

Back in the Fall of 2010, I attended a workshop sponsored by the Mayor’s Office of Re-Entry, which was under the direction of Maxine Bryant at the time (whom I love and admire for her creative investment in homecomers – my term for ex-offenders). The Conference provided an opportunity for people with felonies to network and gain knowledge of resources available to us. Specifically, if our history was creating barriers to employment, the challenge was put to us to consider starting our own business. And, the Mayor’s Office put their money where their mouth was in very practical ways. (Read more here, starting on page 2 of this newsletter…)

I was fortunate and blessed to make it to the final stage of the challenge, with my proposal and business plan submission. It has taken shape with time along my recovery journey: I now provide website, videography and social media support for several small businesses/non-profits. I was proud to stand with the five finalists, all of whom had fantastic business ideas…and blessed to be among the three finalists. (That’s me in the blue shirt/orange tie!)

Second Chance Challenge Finalists (Feb 2011)

Fast forward to the ABCD workshop in November 2014:

The sponsors (The Learning Tree LLC) put out a bid for cooks, which included them “telling their story.” They selected a BBQ & Catering business because of the owner’s personal journey, turning his full-time health disability due to MS (multiple schelorsis) into an opportunity to follow his passion/dream to own his own BBQ business. As they invited him up to share his story with the 100+ folks attending the workshop, my jaw dropped…and I started to cry proud tears of joy (as I am even now, writing this blog.) For in front of me was my fellow “Second Chance Challenge” friend, Antron Alexander…proud owner of “Ant’s Grill and Catering.” (Above, he is standing to my left, in the light grey-blue shirt).

As he finished telling his story (unaware that I was in the audience), I stood up and approached him. He recognized me, and we gave each other a heartfelt hug – to the bewilderment of those around us. I then proceeded to tell the “story behind the story” – how Antron also overcame a felony on his record – another barrier to employment and societal acceptance – in starting this venture. It was overwhelming to see him standing there, in front of everyone, proudly sharing his home cooking with us…what a difference a couple of years makes!

I was humbled and proud of Antron’s accomplishment and progress – not only working with his medical condition, but also creating success from the employment barriers by starting his own business. How many people do I know who are on permanent disability and do little to nothing – existing, or just “getting by?” At times, I believe that’s the expectation society can create for those on “permanent disability”…that they have nothing left to offer. Here was a man who went well beyond what society was expecting of him, becoming a contributing member of society.

And, by the way – the BBQ and vegetarian lasagne was AMAZING!

So, if you want a reason to believe in personal victory, in the power of community, in the tangible outcomes of our city and mayor’s office, and the benefit of seeing “assets” over “needs”…remember my friend Antron at Antron’s Grill.

And, if you need a caterer for your next event, please consider sending him a bid. You can reach him at antsgrill@gmail.com – “as grill as it gets!”

Antron, being introduced by the workshop organizer... — Antron, being introduced by the workshop organizer…

Antron, telling his story... — Antron, telling his story…

Antron, working in the kitchen... — Antron, working in the kitchen…

Maxine Bryant, at Indy’s Recovery Rally 2010 – Indianapolis, Indiana from CToddCreations

The Power Of A Question: Who Are The Healers In Your Community?

Some of my other entries have touched on the “Power of a Question.” It can often completely change our thinking or the outcome of a situation because it invites new perspectives.

I have a friend who does this well. Even when I imagine he has advice to offer, or experience to share – he will hold back, “play dumb” and probe with a series of questions. The beauty in this is it invites dialogue.

Another friend used to say, “I can choose to be right, or I can choose to be happy. I choose to be happy.” I’ve taken that a bit further with “I can choose to be right, or I can choose to connect. I choose to connect.” Again, by asking a question instead of giving advice, we’re more likely to build rapport and create dialogue, which is far more important to me now than being right.

One of the other places I’ve come across the Power of a Question is from my daily devotional, by Mark Nepo. The readings introduced me to a series of questions Native America medicine men ask of the sick: When was the last time you sang? When was the last time you danced? When was the last time you told your story? These questions would be put to the sick and dying by the tribe’s medicine man. In my recovery journey, I’m learning it’s just as important to ask these questions of the living. I also used these three questions to celebrate my mom’s life journey last year, reflecting on her song, her dance, her story…

“The right question at the right time changes the way we look at things around us.”

This past Sunday, I heard a sermon by my pastor and friend Mike Mather that embodied this “Power of a question.” It was truly inspired and moved me. Mike talked about a visit some folks took to meet with Dr. John Rich, recipient of a MacArthur Foundation Fellowship. As a primary care doctor at Boston Medical Center, Rich created the Young Men’s Health Clinic and initiated the Boston HealthCREW, a program to train inner city young men to become peer health educators who focus on the health of men and boys in their communities. His recently published book about urban violence Wrong Place, Wrong Time: Trauma and Violence in the Lives of Young Black Men has drawn critical acclaim.

Mike shared in the sermon how two simple questions from Dr. John Rich profoundly affected the group, and fundamentally changed how Mike now sees the world. It’s also permeates the structure, mindset and “ministry” of our church. Dr. Rich asked the group:

“Who are the healers in your community?

He then asked them,

“How are you supporting those healers?”

At Broadway, we ask not about what someone’s needs are, but about someone’s gifts. Asking people what they are gifted at rather than what they lack changes the way we see the world. And while we are far from perfect at it, it really is a mindset that transcends a single “leader” and has become a way of life for many or most of us.

Others from outside of Broadway have confirmed this, which helps remind me why we do things the way we do. It really does make a difference in the long run. It can be a little messier, or shall I say less tidy and well defined. It’s harder perhaps to measure or articulate through “program objectives” because the work or ministry doesn’t take place from the center, but is instead supported from the center. The church’s role becomes one of making visible that which is already taking place – through the gifts, passions and efforts of our members, out in their neighborhoods, workplaces and communities.

The following clips capture some of what I’m talking about, so I will close with them. You can also find the rest of Mike’s sermon podcast here: http://www.broadwayumc.info/audio/10-19-14_Sermon.mp3

The blabbering of an ex-Facebooker, thirsty for e-contact with the e-world…

I realize I haven’t blogged for about two weeks. And since I had earlier taken my Facebook page down due to some events and emotions, I really don’t have much “e-” contact, outside of the gay dating and chat sites. Not necessarily the best company to be keeping. And with my physical connections and friendships being closely cherished but not large in numbers…it can get a little spooky inside this carved pumpkin. Although I have been writing a lot offline, I think there are some nuggets worth sharing. Maybe not. So, perhaps a change coming… 1. get out again and enjoy nature on earth, and other human beings and 2. blog more consistently, along with photography and digital creations, as that outlet helps me work through life.

So quick update on last two weeks or so: adjusting to no online presence (Facebook) – really feeling out of touch, not belonging. Nothing has actually changed regarding the “actual” degrees of physical distance or emotional connection…but all of a sudden, the mind and heart starve for something that was there, in fact, just perhaps not being able to fulfill its promise….nonetheless, has value/role to play in our sense of community, of belonging. (Note: I do not have any financial or legal connections with Facebook…or whatever legal jargon should go hear to protect my sponsors. lol)

During those two weeks: listened as my nephew went off to college as a new dorm-bound freshman; bailed on an important ride/event; made decision to first close CHEC and then overrode with decision to keep pursuing some community work close to my heart; met with my care coordinator for our annual recertification (let’s analyze my navel and all actions surrounding it with 20 questions you should always be aware of, but only really consider during one of these conjugal visits…); found out our neighborhood block may be zoned and rebuilt, leaving me homeless at some point (really…not trying to make light of anyone’s plight – just my fear being reckless – I have and always will be taken care of; thought seriously about buying a home, whether for me or CHEC or both; decided I want to learn video remixing as a way to expand my creative outlet; lived through an Apple announcement and launch, setting goals to wait for both iPhone 6 and iWatch (less impulsive!); made huge progress on the basement cleanup program (hah!); interviewed for a part-time position; was reminded of a good friend, John Pickel (currently residing in WS, NC – looking after Maya’s spirit I’m sure with a little scotch and good cooking)…our antics together over the years, and his creative genius and humility; reconnected and re-disconnected with some souls, learning each time what we each bring and need in relation; decided on an online photo fulfillment service to let me take my photography and videography to the next level; learned a whole new vocal around acrobatics, including thai massage; experienced tactile energy and spirituality of being on a whole new level; lived through a milestone birthday for my sister, and what would have been my mom’s 73rd birthday; silently launched my new site (www.ctoddcreations.com); had friends hunt me down and go to lunch, and/or leave me with enough compassion and riddles to satisfy my emotional quotient and need for spiritual interaction at a deep soul level; lived through my dad’s loss of his “child” – a golden retriever…to an aggressive cancer that gave my dad the best last few weeks, but finally came to an end…and I feel is aloneness and yet know he is in a good place, grieving a valid loss in a healthy way; decided to go visit said dad before Thanksgiving just because… and maybe get to see my new nephew!…; dropped my motorcycle on me, doing minor damage to owner and bike – shoulder is biggest pain now, may need to go to clinic; took in another stray… and that’s about it. I think. Not much going on…

“The boy” (stray) has been awesome – having a non-sexual male friendship and interaction; his integrity has also rekindled my faith in other humans. But having another person here in my space is also bending my rule about monkeys in my circus, my sacred space. I thought I had learned that lesson, but not as fully as I needed… This round, I realized that I’m putting them in a lose-lose situation living here with no financial means and no formal contract/commitment (e.g. CHEC, but not at home!)- and that’s not healthy or what I want. So it’s really got to be a hard boundary, particularly as I pursue the shaping of CHEC’s mission. End of story.

Nonetheless, there is something healthy about interacting with another human being. Dogs are great companions, but not the replacement for human touch and intuition.

So there’s not much to add here other than:

1. Checkout www.CToddCreations.com – give me feedback on cost/quality, but I’m really excited about the product offerings!

2. Happy 50th Birthday to my sister. And light and love to my dad as he lives through the loss of his companion, Baloo.

3. I put together a portfolio of my videography creations – check them out on my homepage, but for now let me share the clip from this one event that really moved me… I’ll try to convey some of the emotions in the experience through visual arts and storytelling. I also leave two collages, celebrating Lisa’s 50 years of life and Baloo’s life as dad’s companion, and an amazing cover of an old time favorite from my generation (gosh, 40 IS the new 30!)

The Reason We Are Here: Waddie Welcome at Broadway UMC from CToddCreations on Vimeo.

Link to video “The Reason We Are Here: Waddie Welcome at Broadway UMC

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