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Write Your Own Story

As I do, I’m trying to slow down to now – to be in the moment. A lot happened this week, reminding me that I am writing my own story. I’m also seeing myself reflected in others, and I don’t always like the way I show up. I have an edge to life. I have a chip on my shoulder. As one friend told me once, “Todd, you can be like a pit bull sometimes. You grab a hold of something, and you don’t let go.”

Actions speak louder than words.

“tick, tick… BOOM!”

Every generation rises up, inspiring some of us to rise up again like a Phoenix. I want to be that Phoenix – that Peacock – that Voice…just a little softer, a little more graceful. I want to be Meryl Streep without the sharp tongue, with an Elton John edge to my advocacy and a Keith Herring inspired heART.

So this week, I showed up with CEO’s, Vice President, Senior Partners, Drug Czars and tossed my ego into the ring. This time I introduced myself with a new found self-acceptance. I do belong at the table, despite what I’ve believed and told myself in the past. I don’t need to strut my feathers to be noticed. Being a quiet, compassionate giraffe is where I draw inspiration and set greater intentions, applying what I’ve learned from NVC or compassionate communication.

Questions speak louder than words.

“tick, tick… BOOM!”

I learn my living, by showing up, by sometimes putting my foot in my mouth. Sometimes, I catch myself passionated and close to my heart. If I’m not careful, I spew arguments that sound good but really don’t make a lot of sense or worse, put others on the defensive. I often get away with loose language. Thankfully I find people are willing to push back with grace, compassion and knowledge. And I learn better ways to show up and tell my story.

I’m writing my own story.

Thanks for listening. Keep tellin’ the story.

Signed ever faithfully,

The Right Reverend Lord C Todd Peacock III

Reflection on World AIDS Day: Tools to End the HIV Epidemic

I’ve been living with HIV since 2012. But I didn’t talk about it openly until 2019, when I was asked to share my story with the Indianapolis STAR. That’s when I really started to face and accept my diagnosis. That interview changed me and how I think about this disease, my health and my purpose in life.

Since then, what have I learned?

I’ve learned that we HAVE the tools to end this epidemic. The science is clear, and the medications are life-saving. While treatment isn’t a cure, it does mean we can stop the virus from spreading. Having HIV is no longer a death sentence.

But let’s also be clear. People are still dying from from this disease. And every one of those deaths is preventable today.

We’ve been fighting for our lives for 40 years. Why do I have hope today that this current effort to end the HIV epidemic will be any different? Because we DO have the tools to end this epidemic. What are those tools? Testing, U=U, PrEP, Harm Reduction and Visibility.

Testing – we have better testing today, including rapid tests and self-tests at home. They are available for FREE. Know your status. Take responsibility for sexual health, just like we do for physical and mental health. With other STI’s, I used to wait until I had symptoms before I would go into Bellflower to get tested. That is crazy – even moreso with HIV. We have lots more options today for HIV testing. If you’re sexually active, please get tested regularly.
U=U – the science is clear. People living with HIV who are in treatment and have an undetectable viral load can not pass on the virus to their sexual partners. That’s HUGE! We need to be talking about this more. I believe we have a PrEP bias in our messaging. We need to be educating people more on U=U and the importance of getting into treatment.
PreP – while the most important step is to get people into effective treatment, people who are HIV- have an option for their sexual health. PrEP reduces the can risk of getting HIV from sex by more than 90% and from injection drug use by more than 74%.
Harm Reduction – as a person in long term recovery, I understand the benefits of a traditional 12 step program. It was critical in my early recovery – but eventually, stopped serving me. There are other options to abstinence. For some, the “all or nothing” approach can be a barrier to long-term recovery. And it turns out, harm reduction reduces the spread of infectious disease. Harm reduction data reveals a compelling inverse correlation between harm reduction methodology and HIV & Hepatitis C rates —as a nation’s commitment to harm reduction increases, rates of disease infection decrease.
Visibility – I’ve come to believe that STIGMA is our only barrier to ending this epidemic. Stigma’s power lies in our silence. In the early AIDS epidemic, the mantra was SILENCE=DEATH. Today, I think our mantra needs to be SILENCE=STIGMA. We need more visibility to the public through self-advocacy, peer services & stories. Too many long term survivors are hiding in the shadows of the stigma of this disease – just like I was for 7 years. But just like we’ve seen in the recovery movement, the more people who come out of the closet, tell their story, the more we talk about HIV, the more likely it is for people to ask questions, get tested, get into treatment. And just like in the recovery movement, peer-based services like Peer HIV Coaches and Peer Linkage to Care Specialist will allow us to fully leverage individuals’ life experience to help get people into care. Stories matter! Visibility matters! SILENCE=STIGMA (We could call this one PLWH^2, or PLWH Squared!)

We’ve made HUGE advances in the first three of these tools – the science of testing, treatment and prevention are available and, at least in the US, free.

Now comes the human side of it – and I believe Harm Reduction and Visibility are the key levers we need to lean into more and more quickly if we have any hope of actually ending this epidemic by 2030.

Thanks for listening. Keep tellin’ the story.

Signed ever faithfully,

The Right Reverend Lord C Todd Peacock III

Learning to Be an Artist

No Plan? No problem

Heading into my artistic sabbatical & renewal, I didn’t have a plan. If anything, I had an anti-plan – the plan was NOT to have a plan. I’ve sat in this creative space long enough to know that while I might have a vague idea of where I want to head, the final outcome usually looks like nothing I might have initially conceived.

Although I didn’t have a plan, I did have a mentor & coach who helped me discover that I needed to breathe life into my time as an artist, free from the constraints of commercial work. I had originally hired Terry Bateman as a business coach to help me pivot & focus my studio work this Spring – with a new lab, new products, new pricing. So when I pivoted, he met me where I was at and was able to serve as a life coach – a spiritual guide of sorts. Through our regular conversations, I figured out my Vision Board and some broad strokes around how to reorient myself to creating art for its own sake.

Vision Board

My Vision Board for my sabbatical itself was a learning experiment, as I created it digitally from images I took myself or found in the public domain. I took pictures of artwork given to me by a friend (the giraffes), and even included a picture of my 2021 Vision Board, which I had created in January using magazine cutouts and cardboard. I used some of the techniques I learned in Thom Rouse’s workshop – the beginning of my intense conceptual period, experimenting with digital art.

I’m a visual thinker (I’m learning), and so I literally created a life sized project board where I could brainstorm practices, people and projects to feed my inspiration and creative time. I studied industrial engineering, so I’ve always had a process-focus. The opportunity now is to expand that left-brain thinking, combining my superpowers with new creative energy.

The Rain in Maine

After my one-day class with Thom Rouse , I knew I needed more time & instruction. So, without almost thinking about it, I signed up for a week-long workshop he was co-leading in Bar Harbor, Maine with Al DaValle. Al is a landscape photographer, so it was a chance to learn many new skills. I haven’t done much landscape or travel photography since I got into photography. I had done some nature photography early in my explorations – my so called “bumblebee & butterfly” phase – with lots of macro work and flowers. I think one of my take aways is learn from it all, and carry forward the parts that I enjoy. So, I’m pulling back in some of my passion for landscape and architecture – city scapes are after all just urban landscapes!

The mixology of Al and Thom means I can break through my self-imposed constraints that I have to shoot what’s in front of me. Now I see each image as a starting point. From there, I create something totally new that has never existed before.

And I am having fun!

Here are some of my favorite images from my time in Maine – some more creative than others, but nothing like what I think will be coming… So hold on to your seats!