At Broadway UMC, we celebrate All Saint’s Day (November 1) by remembering friends and family who died during the prior year. We have a collection of candles and candelabras at the front of the sanctuary that members light in memory of someone. It’s a beautiful way to keep their stories alive – to keep their memories with us. In doing so, they continue to be a part of our lives. For me, it also brings to a close that first year of mourning. While the loss and hole in our hearts never fully heal, I’m finding it’s a lot easier to move on after the “year of firsts.”
Lighting candles on All Saint’s DayAll Saint’s Day at Broadway UMC
Two years ago, we included my mom and grandmother in our All Saint’s Day celebration. This year, we remembered by friend Graham Karwath.
Remember Our Saints: Graham Karwath
Graham was a loyal friend – to me and many others in his life. He always “had my back,” and helped me through some tough times by listening, caring and telling my story. In turn, the trust we built over the years allowed him to open up about some of the life struggles he faced.
Graham was full of life. He loved music, loved to dance and loved to goof off. He was a hard worker, which was recognized by his co-workers and boss. He was always willing to take an extra shift or work late to help out the team. He was confident, but vulnerable; strong, but like many of us, hurt; full of joy, but knew his time here was limited. Despite his fatal heart condition, he didn’t dwell on his health but chose instead to live in the moment and enjoy life to the fullest.
Another part of our All Saint’s Day service is to list those we remember in the bulletin. The choir then takes those names and weaves them into a hymn of celebration and remembrance. Here is an audio clip of this year’s song. You’re not forgotten, Graham… (Graham is mentioned at 1:25 in this song of prayer)
(I previously wrote a short version of this post on SoundCloud, but recently realized I hadn’t finished my thoughts…so here is the updated version via by blog…)
Society doesn’t trust me to use federal assistance for food or school tuition, is willing to refuse me housing and employment simply and solely based on a background check with no discussion because of my criminal record, and some countries won’t let me cross their borders…
…and yet you trust me with the “honor” to be on a “jury of peers” and serve jury duty?
Really. I find this ironic and hypocritical. What do you think?
Shame on Hoosiers, Shame on America! Give us a break! (Read on to learn more…)
An honor to serve? I’d rather have a fair chance at a job, or housing…or other assistance granted to other citizens. Thanks!
I’ve learned a lot in the last 5 years about the barriers our society puts in place for people living with a criminal record. I was as surprised to learn about them as many people I talk with about my experience. I guess “ignorance is bliss.” But ignorance also keeps the status quo in place… Which is why I try to talk about what I’ve learned, in hopes that education and awareness might help remove the stigma and perhaps even help to change laws or rules to make re-entry easier.
So to clarify – we are talking about someone like myself who is no longer on parole or probation, but has “served the time” for his or her crime.
In my case, I was fortunate enough to not do any actual time in jail or prison, apart from a couple hours around my original arrest. (So I haven’t experienced the “full force” of “re-entry” – of returning to society after serving time for a crime.
For a lot of reasons, including a Higher Power who was looking out for me and some “next right things” I did when I hit bottom and sought help for my addiction, I was fortunate enough to be given a plea bargain and a chance, through probation, to have my felony charges dropped to misdemeanors – if I met the conditions of my plea bargain. I was doing well at first in 2010, but was over-confident in my ability to stay clean for the first year of my recovery (while I was on probation) – and ended up blowing the terms of my plea bargain. While I successfully completed the balance of my 12 month term without issue, I found myself “living with” a felony record.
So, what barriers are in place for someone who has served their time, but still lives with a felony record? In the State of Indiana (some of these are Federal issues, some are State-specific):
I can’t get a student loan for tuition assistance to go back to school
I can’t get food stamps
If landlords run background checks, I’m likely to face barriers securing an affordable, well-maintained place to rent and live
If employers run background checks and aren’t educated with new(er) guidelines related to “ban the box” and fair hiring practices, I’m likely to face barriers getting a job. Learn more at:
I can’t travel to some countries in the world, including Canada (note: the same is true for individuals convicted of a DUI in the US…no travel to Canada!)
ReEntry Scorecard for the Midwest (click on image for details)
Two overarching principles emerged as key criteria in the grading system (with 1 being best and 10 the worst):
• State and federal laws should require individualized determinations about the suitability of someone with a criminal conviction for the opportunity, benefit or right sought that takes into consideration the nature of the conviction(s), the time that has elapsed since the conviction(s), the age of the person at the time of the conviction(s) and any evidence of rehabilitation.
• State and federal laws should prohibit government agencies, public and private employers, and others from considering information about arrests that did not lead to conviction when making decisions about a person’s eligibility for employment, housing, or other benefits.
Note: since I completed my probation, Indiana has made some steps in the right direction. After ~8-10 years, under certain conditions, felony records can be expunged – which makes some of the issues/barriers I’m going to talk about mostly disappear. Records are still accessible to law enforcement of course – but issues of employment, housing, travel – largely become a non-issue. But, it’s still 10 years until I reach that point…so around 2021. For details, see:
I live on a quiet stretch of Ruckle St., just north of downtown Indianapolis. I moved here several years ago by choice to embrace community. On our short stretch, there are four older homes – plus two houses with driveways/rear entrances from our quiet two blocks.
Our Front Porch
This past year, I’ve discovered a great tool for discovering community…our front porch. We’ve met several neighbors walking by. We’ve carved pumpkins with friends on the porch. And, we’ve occasionally played with flow props or done acrobatics in the empty lots next to our duplex.
Spinning poi in a vacant lot…
With such a small, quiet stretch, we also do a pretty good job of watching our for one another. If we notice something “out of the ordinary,” we ask questions – pick up the phone and call one another – or knock on the door and check in. This has included everything from noticing a near flat tire on our neighbor’s car and letting him know before work the next morning, to getting a call from a neighbor when we parked a 24 foot U-Haul on the street while getting ready for a yard sale. He thought the latter was a little odd, and wanted to make sure someone wasn’t preparing for a break-in or stealing a motorcycle. It’s little things like that bring a little peace of mind. We’ve also shared or borrowed bike racks, air compressors, hoses and the proverbial “cup of sugar.”
We occasionally use the online app “NextDoor” to communicate a little more broadly with neighbors. We’ve bought and sold gently used furniture online, advertised our yard sale, and learned about crime or safety issues in the neighborhood. While it doesn’t take the place of the front porch, it has been helpful to have around…
Earlier this month, there were a couple posts about individuals checking out cars for unlocked doors — with the occasional “success” on the burglar’s part, finding a items to steal when someone has left them visible in the car, and forgotten to lock their doors. It’s sad and a bit scary to hear about such events – though “comforting” to know that it happens everywhere — from Carmel, to downtown, to the outer “burbs” of Indianapolis. Having lived in several large cities, there are certain “rules of common sense” that…make sense.
Having seen a couple of these notices, I took screen shots and shared them with our neighbors – just to keep us all extra aware of our belongings and vehicles.
Next Door Crime & Safety (click image to join)
Late one evening, we started to wind down for the night. I headed upstairs to brush my teeth, when I heard Brandon yell from the front room, “there’s a guy poking around outside near Bruce’s car. I’m calling the police..”
The next couple of hours proved to be a little exciting! Brandon startled the man who was lurking near our landlord’s car next door – he ran off down the street and around into the alley. Two IMPD cruisers showed up in no time. They took a description of the suspect, and told us they would stay on alert in the area. Our landlord joined us in the street with the officers. We exchanged details – and once the police left, I posted an update to Next Door. We continued getting ready for bed – with a little extra adrenaline to keep us awake!
Before we could get much further into our routine, we heard shouting from several men outside. We went to the door, only to discover the man in question on our front steps, and two other men yelling at him – and us – from the street. There were accusations of burglary from the men in the street, who were shortly joined by a woman who added to the yelling and screaming. Clearly, something had “gone down” between the man and his friends – but we really weren’t up for becoming a part of their drama.
Without hesitating, we called back to 911 – and within literally seconds, the two IMPD cruisers reappeared and the officers took charge. We locked up the evening – setting the alarm – and watch from behind the windows for a bit, while the officers took the man into custody and dealt with whatever situation / back story the other three individuals had to share. There is a time for being aware, vigilant and neighborly – and a time for letting the police do their job.
But the story doesn’t end there…
How did we get from “Next Door” to the “Front Porch” – for real?!
A couple days later, I was on the front porch enjoying the evening sunset with my two dogs. I saw a gentleman and two young girls walking down Ruckle, and started to put the dogs inside so they wouldn’t keep barking. The next thing I know, the man approaches our steps. “Excuse me sir. I’m sorry to bother you, but I was down here the other night when the police were here.”
He had my attention…
He introduced himself (I’ll call him T. for short…), and his two daughters. He went on to explain what had happened the other night, leading up to the other man showing on our front porch, trying to get into our house. “I came down to apologize for the disturbance. I just wanted to introduce myself, and say I’m very sorry this all played out the way it did. I’m sure you all must have been pretty frightened when our friend tried to get into your house.”
He added some pieces to the puzzle. I thanked him for reaching out.
I also told him about some of what happened prior to the small group showing up. That added some pieces to his puzzle.
We then talked a little about where he lived, about his daughters, about his work. It was not the conversation I had expected after the night with the police. I made doubly sure to thank him for having the courage and consideration to follow-up and explain what was going on. I also made a note of his name and address…and want to follow-up with them to have more conversations…probably over a meal (something I’ve learned from my community at Broadway…)
And that is how we got from “Next Door” to “Front Porch.” Where some, including myself, may have expected the worst – I discovered compassion, courage and community…one conversation at a time.
The Magical Storybook of Professor Peacock 